Relationship: I Think My Roommate Doesn’t Pray. What Should I Do?


I actually don’t know how to start this but I really need someone to share this with.

I am a student and I just began my studies at a university. The problem now is since I was here I have never seen my roommate perform Solat (prayer), except for one time.

I wanted to ask my roommate about the whole prayer thing but I just can’t imagine what might happen if I do so. If things go wrong, it might get awkward since we have to share the same room for another semester. 

I hope you can help me with this. I don’t know who else to ask. 

What should I do?


Waalaikumussalam warahmatullah.

Thank you for your question.

If we don’t know for sure, then we shouldn’t assume anything bad. We always assume good, if we don’t have any strong evidence for the contrary. In your case, do you know for sure that she is not praying? That is the first thing that you should ask yourself. The good thing here is that you at least seen her pray once. That is a good sign that she hasn’t abandon her prayer. So you should really consider your perception of her very seriously.

I am not saying you should spy on your friend. Whatever a person does in private is his/her business and we shouldn’t intrude on a person’s privacy. If a person sins in private, that is between the person and Allah. It is only when the person enters the public sphere (i.e. not private anymore but known to others) that we start to consider an intervention. Even in that situation, we should proceed with little to no bad judgment because it is not our job to judge.

I know this might be hard to swallow, but this is the reality: our job is not to change people’s hearts, but our job is to convey the message as best as we can, with much patience and wisdom.

Beyond that, it is out of our control so we leave it to Allah. He is the only One who control the hearts. In your case, offer advice in a manner that you find most suitable within your capability. Try to find the best way to approach your friend. If one way doesn’t work, then try a different approach. Don’t be harsh and don’t be hasty. Use wisdom and not emotions. Remember, this is not about our ego. This is about possibly becoming an assistance for a person to get closer to Allah.

Other than that, leave it to Allah. Make lots of du’a.

Allah knows best.

I hope that helps. Thank you again for your question.

I pray that Allah grant us wisdom. Ameen.

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