Don’t just numb the pain
I received an unexpected call the other day from someone who is heartbroken from a relationship that ended badly.
Such an issue isn’t uncommon among my audience, which is probably why my online class about how to prepare for marriage is my bestselling class of all time.
I made a mini video series about how to move on. It’s a recording of a talk I gave at Kolej Universiti Islam Perlis (KUIPs). I am glad I recorded that talk and uploaded the videos online because so many people have benefited from them.
I don’t want to repeat what I have covered in the mini video series, but I do want to add something extra.
Moving on from the painful past doesn’t remove the pain. Sure, you can heal from it but the memory will remain. Hence, the pain will still be there. But due to the healing, the pain is much lesser.
So, if the pain can’t be removed, does that mean that you are doomed?
Deal with the pain
The point of moving on isn’t to remove the pain. The point of moving on is to deal with the pain, by making you stronger. That is the end result of moving on: inner strength.
When you are in the process of moving on, keep that in mind. Your focus should not be on removing the pain, but it should be on increasing your strength and resilience.
That way, you will be able to move forward and face whatever else life throws at you. You won’t “play it safe” by avoiding future challenges because you want to avoid the pain.
You can still take risks, calculated risks, because you are stronger from your past.
That is the point that I want to leave you with.
What about you?
Are you in the process of moving on from a painful past? Are you focusing on building your inner strength?
Share with me your experience. I’ll listen.