There are two types of confidence: inner confidence and outer confidence.
Outer confidence is common, where you seek confidence from outside of yourself. A few examples of that are you seeking confidence from your peers (their approval give you confidence), from your looks (looking attractive makes you feel confident), or from your status (having titles elevate your confidence level).
Outer confidence is important, but it shouldn’t be the core of a person’s confidence. Why? To put it simply, outer confidence is temporary. It has a tendency to fade away.
Your peers will not be with you all the time. One day, they will go away. If they are not there to give you the approval you crave, then what happens to your confidence?
Your looks, no matter how hard you maintain it, has a natural tendency to decay with time. It is a part of the circle of life that we have to make peace with. When wrinkles start forming and white hairs start appearing, what will happen to your confidence then?
Your titles will come and go. To defend it, you have to fight day in and day out. That alone could cause you anxiety. When the day comes when your titles are taken from you, does that mean your confidence will be taken away too?
In short, outer confidence is not reliable because it can easily disappear. It can’t stay with you all the time. In this life, only one can stay with all the time and that is your own self. So in order to have a longer lasting confidence level, you need to rely more on inner confidence.
What does inner confidence mean? Without downplaying the importance of outer confidence, inner confidence is simply to be comfortable in your own skin and to be able to stand on your own two feet in most situations.
But it won’t be an easy thing. One of the possible reasons why many people gravitate towards outer confidence is because it is easier. It is easier to simply rely on our friends for confidence. It is easier to buy nice clothes and beauty products. It is easier because you don’t have to put much effort in acquiring it.
Inner confidence requires work, time, and patience. We are carving ourselves to become our own best motivator. Though it is not easy, it is worth the effort because we are building something stronger and something that will last longer.
To rely on something internal means to rely on something that will always be there. The only creation that will be there with you all the time is yourself. Your friends and family members will leave you someday. Your appearance will fade away with time, as it should. Your title will be given to someone else one day.
But your internal environment can’t be separated from you. It is literally a part of you. Knowing this, you should train the internal environment to be able to produce confidence when you need it. When you rely on that, you don’t have to scavenge the external environment and panting your way trying to find someone or something to cling on to.
You own self is enough as your main source of confidence. Having a strong internal confidence enables you to withstand the external difficulties better because your confidence comes from inside and not outside. You can summon it when you need it most.
You are able to stand on your own two feet, comfortable being who you are, even when you are the only one standing.
Do you want to master your confidence?
Speak Up! Academy focuses on creating a strong foundation of inner confidence. We apply the confidence in practicing essential soft skills: English speaking, public speaking, and debating.
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