Fear of making mistakes, fear of being laughed at, fear of rejection, fear of judgment, fear of not being good enough, or any other fears are all real and should be acknowledged, but many of them, if not all of them, are unreasonable.
One of the many possible reasons why those fears are unreasonable is because they stem from having an unrealistic expectation of themselves, of others, and/or of life in general.
These are among the many unrealistic expectations people can have:
1. They expect from themselves to be perfect.
This is an unrealistic expectation of themselves. No expert started off perfect. David Beckham probably missed a few kicks when he first started, Albert Einstein probably didn’t know how to calculate 2+2 at some point, William Shakespeare probably struggled with saying his first English word, and you most definitely fell down the first time you tried to walk. It is perfectly normal to expect imperfections.
The first time you do something will be decorated with many mistakes and shortcomings. But that is not necessarily a bad thing. Making mistakes is a normal part of the learning process. We should not fear mistakes, in fact we should welcome them. I am not saying let us all make mistakes intentionally.
What I meant was when mistakes happen (and they most probably will), we need to accept them and learn from them. It is through learning from mistakes that we grow into a better person.
2. They expect others to always be nice and kind.
It is a positive thing to think good of people and that should remain the default position. However, we cannot run away from the simple fact that there are naughty people out there.
There will be people who will intentionally or unintentionally demotivate you when you want to do something good. There will be naysayers and disbelievers in the greatness that you can achieve.
Though we do not judge their hearts because we don’t know for sure what’s in them, we should avoid paying attention to these people. If the things that they say and do don’t add value to your life, then it is not worth it to invest your time and energy in them.
You may not have the power to shut them up or to control what they say, but you do have the power to control how you react. People cannot harm you with their words unless you allow them to.
3. They expect life to be relatively smooth and easy.
It is a given that life is full of difficulties and challenges. Each of us has our own fair share of them. To expect life to always be convenient to you is to expect fairy tales to come true.
Once we realise that life is difficult, then at that point life becomes easier. It becomes easier because we no longer carry unrealistic expectations on our shoulders.
Unrealistic expectations will almost definitely result in unnecessary stress and disappointment. I called it “unnecessary” because it can be avoided. Plus, life without difficulties and challenges will turn out to be a very boring life.
So, what now?
Manage your expectation well and you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary heartaches. This is not to say that with the right expectation, suddenly everything will be candies and rainbows.
The right expectation helps us to focus on what matters more and on what matters most, and to ignore what is essentially a waste of time and energy.
Be confident in yourself by believing in yourself. At the very least, you should believe that you can try your best. After all, what more can people ask from you than your very best? Before you can expect people to have a reasonable expectation of you, you first have to have a reasonable expectation of yourself.
Confidence lies in the mindset that you have chosen, particularly in what you think of yourself. The mind is so powerful such that it can create a reality based on what you think and how you think.
How is that so? Well, to simplify, your mind will lead you to find every conceivable evidence to prove that what you think is true.
So, whether you think you can or you cannot, you are absolutely right.
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