Aiman Azlan

Motivator

Vlogger

Author

Freelancer

I'm Aiman Azlan,
Motivator, Vlogger, and Author
from Perlis, Malaysia.

I have rich experience in youth engagement, both online and offline. I am passionate about social issues involving the local youth community. In 2015, I founded Aiman Azlan Academy to empower the youth with sustainable self-confidence through effective communication skill.

What I Do
Motivational Speaking

Engaging the youth, locally and internationally, through motivational speaking programs of various format, such as talks, forums, and seminars.

Training

Teaching communication skills, like vlogging, English speaking, and public speaking, through one-to-one or small group workshops.

Vlogging

Sharing thoughts and answering questions in video form on Youtube and Facebook, touching upon relevant youth topics of today.

Writing

Writing motivational and self-help books about various youth topics, such as self-confidence, identity, love, education, career, and community.

Social Media Advertising

Producing advertisements for products or services through social media copywriting and videomaking. Managed by Gushcloud.

Proofreading

Reading and making grammar corrections for final year project papers, theses, resumes, CVs, and other student-related writings.

Nobody Remembers Your Wedding



Wow. Look at that title, what a way to start a blog post.

Let me try to reduce the size of the flame here. I’m not saying that they don’t remember your wedding like it doesn't exist. I’m just saying that they don’t remember your wedding the way that you thought they would remember it.

You can ask them and find out:

  • Do they remember what you wore that day?
  • Do they remember the food you served?
  • Do they remember the color theme you chose?
  • Do they remember the decorations you set up?
  • Do they remember the name of your partner? <--- my favourite :p

Or, try this: Have your photo album be ready a few weeks after the wedding, sit down with your family, and flip through the pages. See how much they actually remember. Even the actual bride and groom don't remember some of the things that were in their own wedding (speaking from experience here).

People who have other better things to do don't tend to remember specific physical details, the kind of details that we like to focus our attention to. I mean, months of discussions (maybe arguments) that went on about these physical details - things that we thought people would notice, remember, and talk about for days, weeks, months, or even years to come.

This is understandable. We would like to think that we are somehow at the center of people’s attention. We think that when we walk around in a crowd that other people are constantly thinking about (and judging) us. That’s probably why we keep on asking that nagging question:

What would people think about me if I do or don’t do this?

That question bugs us so much that it can dictate a huge chunk of our lives. Because we think that people are constantly thinking about us, so we constantly worry about the image we display, in the hopes that the image is in line with what they expect.

We can apply this to many situations in life, but I can’t think of a situation where this thing gets really severe other than weddings. We worry so much about what people say about our wedding and we think that if we do it “badly” (whatever that means), people are going to talk about it for generations to come.

As if there's a TripAdvisor review page about weddings (Oh God, I sure hope that there isn't such a thing!)

This is not to say that we should not care at all about what people say and that we should just organize our wedding however we please. Cultural norms have their place, no doubt about it. What is being raised here is the issue of obsession about what people "might" say up to a point where the people start to interfere with our lives and our principles.

If people say, “Hey, you shouldn’t smoke. It’s bad for your health.” That’s a good thing, you should listen to what people say. But if people say, “Hey, you should have a big fat wedding even if you can’t afford it because it’s a one-time thing and other people are doing it.” Now, that is something else entirely.

There are many things in life that we shouldn't compare with others, simply because we all live different lives. If you feel pressured to conform to an unrealistic, unnecessary, and unfair standard of what a wedding should be, then you should probably stop comparing.

On one hand, you know you can't afford it. On the other hand, your worry about what others might say about your wedding is most probably just a thing in your head. Nothing more. Although we like to believe that we are the center of people's attention, the fact of the matter is that people are generally too busy thinking about themselves.

That's not because they're selfish. That's because they're human. You are too busy thinking about yourself too, which is probably why you are popping that vein on your forehead thinking about how to best display yourself on your wedding. You believe that everyone will stay focus on your image and that they will remember it forever.

But allow me to tell you what people will actually remember: Feelings. They remember that your wedding was a happy occasion and they remember that they were celebrating you and your partner (despite the fact that they might forget his or her name).

Instead of focusing too much on price tags, brand names and reputations, just focus on having a happy wedding occasion; where family and friends gather around to celebrate your blessed union and pray for your well-being.

At the end of the day, that is what wedding should be about. To achieve that end, you don't have to break the bank. You can definitely work with what you have to organize a nice, decent wedding and have enough money left to start off your marriage (which is, by the way, more important than a one-day wedding).

But what about people? Undeniably, even after reading this blog post until this point, there will still be people who will worry about people's perceptions. Again, that's understandable. Realistically speaking, in our lives there will be people who will focus too much on the small physical details and chances are, these are the people who are driving you crazy.

Nevertheless, try to remember that you don't have to go out of your way to have a lavish wedding and spend years of your marriage life paying for one day of wedding - just to please people who might not care about you.

How do I know that? Because people who actually care about you will realize that your happiness is worth more than a wedding you can't afford.

Islamic Financing is Expensive: True or Not?



Some say, Islamic financing is more expensive than conventional loan. So they made a choice based on what is cheap, convenient, and easy. But is that true? Is Islamic financing more expensive than conventional loan?

If enough people say it’s true, then it must be true. Right?

Nope! That’s not how truth works.

To know if something is true or not, you have to investigate it. So let’s investigate the question: is Islamic financing more expensive than conventional loan?

The answer to the question lies in the very basic of Islamic financing and conventional loan - how they make money.

Let’s start with conventional loan.

How Conventional Loan Makes Money

Conceptually, conventional loan is pretty straightforward: you ask the bank for money, the bank gives you money, and you pay the bank back with interest. Through interest, the bank makes money.

How much interest do you have to pay?

This is where things get interesting (pun intended). The interest rate is not fixed, because it is based on the base lending rate (BLR for short) determined by Bank Negara Malaysia (BNM). BLR can be higher or lower from the time you received the loan.

Essentially, you are gambling with how much you are paying at the end of the day because you can’t control or predict the BLR. If BLR goes down, then you are in luck. If BLR goes up, then your luck runs out apparently.

So you can’t definitively claim that conventional loan is cheaper by default, because you literally don’t know how much you are paying the bank. You could be paying more. You could be paying less. But the uncertainty is certainly discomforting.

Imagine the case when you choose conventional loan to pay for your house. A typical house loan can last 30 years. Within that long period of time, can you definitively say that the BLR will go down in your favour? Or at the very least, can you ensure that the BLR stays the same from the moment you got the loan?

I’m not saying conventional loan is more expensive. I’m also not saying that it’s cheap. I’m simply saying you don’t know how much you are paying at the end.

That’s the reality of conventional loan. But what about Islamic financing?

How Islamic Financing Makes Money

Yes, Islamic finance institutions can make money. Remember, it is a business and not a charity. But how do they make money from Islamic financing?
First of all, it is important to note that Islamic financing is not a loan. Technically, you are not asking for money. Islamic financing is a business deal made between the Islamic finance institution and you, their client.

Say you want to buy a house and you opted for Islamic financing. What the institution does is they buy the house and then sell it to you for a higher price. Why higher price? Because it is a business deal - a typical buy and sell situation.

The difference between the price the institution paid to buy the house and the price the institution sells the house to you is the profit margin. That is how an Islamic finance institution makes money, from profit.

But how much is the profit? How much are you paying extra? Islamic financing uses base financing rate (BFR), which is similar to BLR in principle but used to differentiate between a loan and financing.

Unlike conventional loan, the profit is fixed at the time you sign the trading contract with an Islamic finance institution. So from the beginning, you know exactly how much you are paying at the end of the contract.

The price you pay is not going to suddenly go up or down.

So, does that mean Islamic financing is cheaper? If you take into account the certainty and the security you get from knowing how much you are paying, then I can safely say that it is cheaper. You are not gambling anything and leave things to chance.

Perhaps if the BFR is low, then you could possible be paying less with conventional loan. But, you never know when that will happen. In fact, you never know if it will happen at all! There is a chance that you will be paying more.

So, What Now?

In the end, it is a personal choice. Do you want to know for certain how much you are paying with Islamic financing, or do you want to leave it to chance and see how it goes with conventional loan?

Whatever the choice is, be sure to do your due diligence. You have to gain more knowledge and understanding about the subject matter, and then make a decision - a well-informed decision.

Thankfully, we have organizations like IBFIM, that specializes in Islamic finance training in the effort to increase awareness and the number of qualified professionals in the community.

Check them out here: ibfimonline.com/about-us

Cinta SMS (Ep. 7)



Ali meletakkan cawannya ke atas meja.

Ummi: Habis takkan la Lia nak pakai baju kurung biasa je?

Alia: Itulah hasrat hati Lia. Simple. Tapi, Lia bukannya tidak mengambil kira persepsi masyarakat langsung. Of course Lia akan tampil bagi nampak seperti seorang pengantin. Cuma, perhiasan Lia tu akan terkawal dan tidak melampaui batas. So, Lia akan decide sendiri setakat mana Lia nak berhias.

Ali: Maaf, nak mencelah skit. Saya setuju ngan Alia dan yakin muslimah macam Alia ni akan tahu batas-batasnya. Saya pun takda la ignore culture totally. Macam saya cakap tadi, kita cuma kena filter out yang mana boleh pakai and yang mana yang tak boleh.

Abi: Kejap, kalau Lia nak decide baju takda masalah. Tapi, kena bagi Ummi Abi approve dulu. Takut-takut nampak kampung sangat pulak, malu kita ngan jiran-jiran.

Ahmad terkesima dengan kata-kata Abi.

Alia: Abi, kita bukan boleh nak puaskan hati suma orang. Lia ni pun tengah bertolak ansur sebanyak mungkin, within Islamic limits. Izinkan la Lia pakai pakaian yang selesa buat Lia.

Abi pandang Ummi.

Ummi: We'll think about it.

Abi: Ok la. Janji hantaran ada. Ummi, hari tu kat kenduri minggu lepas diorang buat hantaran RM10,000 kan?

Ali: Erk pak cik, erm...boleh tak kalau kita tak buat hantaran?

Abi: Haish, jangan camtu Ali. Suma benda tak leh buat ni. Lagipun hantaran ni kami tak ambil satu sen pun, semuanya akan kami bagi kat Alia dan kamu.

Ali: Oh ye ke? Alhamdulillah. Tapi, isunya ialah saya ni tidak mampu untuk sediakan duit sebegitu banyak. Lagipun hantaran ni bukannya satu syarat sah kahwin ke ape. Asalkan maharnya ada kira jalan la.

Abi: Maharnya apa?

Alia: Lia pikir sebentuk cincin pun ok la. Lagi mudah maharnya, lagi baik kan? Lagipun ni bukan urusan jual beli, ni perkahwinan.

Ummi: Tapi Ali, pelik la kalau orang tengok kita tak buat hantaran.

Ahmad: Ehem...jap. Rasanya kita boleh tolak ansur dalam bab ni.

Semua berpaling kepada Ahmad.

Ahmad: Apa kata kalau kita buat hantaran tu sebagai sepersalinan pakaian? Alia belikan untuk diri sendiri and then bagi kat Ali. Pastu Ali pun buat benda sama and then bagi kat Alia. Ye la, takut tak kena taste la kan. Tak perlu mahal-mahal, setakat mana mampu ja. Pastu balut la bagi fancy-fancy and jadikan la tu sebagai hantaran. Plus, tak membazir pun sebab beli sepersalinan pakaian yang akan digunakan everyday. Amacam?

Ali: Kalau camtu saya ok je.

Alia: Setuju.

Abi: Idea tu memang bagus, tapi nanti time kenduri tu akan ada orang datang and tanya brapa banyak hantaran yang dibuat. Tu soalan normal. Takkan la Abi nak bagitau yang kita buat hantaran pakaian saja?

Ahmad membisu. Dia begitu yakin ideanya itu akan menyelesaikan isu tersebut. 

Ummi: Kami faham yang agama tu penting, tapi air muka kena jaga jugak.

Ali: With all due respect pak cik and mak cik, saya bukannya apa, cumanya saya rasa it's better for me to invest in my marriage than in my wedding. Kalau kita belanja sampai kering poket or sampai berhutang or sampai membazir, apakah tu satu permulaan yang berkat? Lebih baik saya guna duit tu untuk rumah tangga saya.

Ummi: Jangan la buat susah-susah Ali. Kan senang kalau kita buat ikut cara yang orang selalu buat?

Ali: Ye, memang senang. Tapi senang tak semestinya betul mak cik.

Abi: Awak nak kahwin ngan Alia ke tak ni?

Ahmad menghantar SMS kepada Alia...
Ahmad: Lia, camne ni?
Alia: Ntah, Lia dah buntu.
Suasana genting seketika. Ali memejam matanya seketika, mengawal nafasnya kerana apa yang bakal dia ucapkan mungkin penentu segala-galanya. Dengan lafaz Bismillah dalam hatinya...

Ali: Wallahi, hasrat saya yang menggunung tinggi sekarang ni ialah untuk berkahwin. Just imagining it gives me happiness, apatah lagi kalau saya experience it for real. Plus, saya yakin Alia ni la calon isteri yang saya cari selama ni. Tapi...

Semua menumpukan perhatian sepenuhnya kepada Ali.

Ali: Tapi kalau mengahwini Alia bermakna saya kena "ceraikan" Allah dan Rasulullah, then I'd rather sacrifice my pleasure for the pleasure of my Lord.

Ahmad: Ali, apa maksud ko?

Ali: Maksud aku, kalau kita nak teruskan jugak ikut apa yang orang cakap, aku rasa mungkin aku akan tarik diri. Sebab aku tak tergamak untuk gembira pada hari kenduri kahwin aku sedangkan Allah murka kat aku.

Abi pandang Ummi. 

Abi: Ali...I don't think this is going to work out.

Ahmad dan Alia memandang Abi hampir serentak. Terkejut.  

Cinta SMS (Ep. 6) | Cinta SMS (Ep. 8)

Cinta SMS (Ep. 6)



Abi: Ahmad, mana Ali?

Ahmad: Entah. Jap, Ahmad mesej dia.

Henset Ali berbunyi.
Ahmad: Dah sampai?
Ali: Aku kat luar umah ko dah. Cuak kot!
Ahmad keluar.

Ahmad: Assalamualaikum!

Ali: Waalaikumussalam warahmatullah.

Ahmad: La, apsal tak call aku?

Ali: Aku tengah layan fikiran la bro.

Ahmad: Ko fikir banyak sangat la. Jom masuk!

Ali berjalan perlahan-lahan masuk rumah.

Ali: Assalamualaikum pak cik.

Abi: Waalaikumussalam warahmatullah. Sila la duduk.

Ummi: Alia, tolong amik air.

Ali duduk. Walaupun sofa empuk, dirinya tetap rasa kurang selesa. Abi tahu dia nervous dan dia sengaja tidak mahu memulakan perbualan. Dia hanya senyum dan tunggu.

Alia: Sila la minum.

Ali amik cawan di depannya dan minum, dengan harapan dapat mengurangkan kejanggalan situasi. Tak berkesan. Dia sedar bahawa dia harus berani.

Ali: Ehem...rasanya pak cik dah tahu kot kenapa saya datang ni kan?

Abi: Kenapa awak datang ye?

Ali: Err...camne nak cakap ek?

Ahmad menghantar SMS kepada Alia...

Ahmad: Abi ni saja buat orang gabra kan? Padahal dia tahu je kenapa Ali datang.
Alia: LOL! Lia pun gabra gak ni.

Ali: Sebenarnya...saya datang...nak menyampaikan hajat...ingin...kahwin...dengan......Alia

Abi: Kahwin?

Ali: Ye.

Ummi: Umur awak brapa tahun Ali?

Ali: Saya sekarang dah 21 tahun mak cik.

Ummi: Oh, blaja lagi la?

Ali: Ye.

Abi: Bila awak plan untuk kahwin?

Ali: Seberapa cepat yang boleh. Saya tak nak rush, tapi saya jugak tak nak tangguh. Salah satu agenda saya datang ni nak bincang pasal bila nak kahwin jugak la.

Perbualan sudah mendapat momentumnya. Ali semakin kurang nervous.

Abi: Dari segi kewangan, macam mana tu Ali?

Ali: Err...sama macam Ahmad, saya ada biasiswa.

Abi: Brapa awak dapat sebulan?

Ali: Alhamdulillah, dapat $1300 sebulan. Lebih dari cukup kalau pandai belanja.

Abi: Awak tahu kahwin ni bukan murah kan? Kenduri yang sederhana pun ada la dalam RM14,000. Tu tak termasuk pelamin, hantaran, upah mak andam, baju pengantin, dan lain-lain.

Ali: Hantaran? Pelamin?

Ali memandang Ahmad. Ahmad pun nampak keliru.

Ahmad: Abi, kita nak buat persandingan ke? Hantaran jugak?

Alia: Lagi satu, Lia tak tahu pulak Abi nak upah mak andam. Sejak bila Lia pakai mekap Abi? Gincu pun tak penah pakai. Setakat lip gloss ja.

Ummi: Well, hari tu kan hari special untuk Lia. Bukan selalu pun jadi raja sehari ni kan?

Ali: Err...pak cik, kalau kita tak buat persandingan boleh tak?

Abi: Kenapa?

Ali: Saya rasa kurang selesa bila bayangkan isteri saya berhias-hias pastu kena "display" kepada orang ramai. Mata-mata lelaki asing yang memandang tu rasa macam anak-anak panah menusuk hati saya.

Ummi: Ala, sehari je kan?

Ali: Saya faham. Hari tu hari special. Kami seakan-akan raja pada hari tu. Tapi, even raja pun harus patuh pada Raja yang sebenar iaitu Allah kan?

Abi: Kalau tak buat, nanti apa kata-kata jiran pulak?

Ahmad dan Alia kelihatan kurang selesa dengan perbualan ini.

Ali: Kita tak boleh nak puaskan hati semua orang pak cik. Saya bukan kata yang kita tak boleh nak ada adat langsung dalam perkahwinan ni. Apa yang saya nak katakan ni ialah kita tapis dulu adat-adat kita ni supaya tak langgar perintah Allah.

Ummi: Tapi ramai je yang buat.

Ali: Saya tak nak cakap apa-apapun bagi pihak mereka. Itu antara mereka dengan Allah. Dalam situasi kita ni pulak, ia antara kita dengan Allah.

Abi: Jadi tak nak bersanding la ni?

Ali: Seeloknya tak perlu la pak cik. Tapi, kalau nak dibuat jugak, kita boleh adakan sesi bersanding dengan kaum hawa dan saudara lelaki sahaja. Kaum adam yang asing tak boleh masuk. Dan kita tak benarkan sesiapa ambil gambar melainkan kamera kita sendiri. Takut-takut ada yang upload dalam Facebook ke, Flickr ke, dan entah apa lagi website yang diorang boleh upload gambar-gambar tu. Ha, kalu yang tu nak bersolek pun takpe.

Abi: Awak tak rasa ekstrim ke tu?

Ali mencuba sedaya upaya untuk mengekalkan senyuman di mukanya dan menjaga adabnya. 

Ali: With all due respect, saya rasa yang ekstrimnya ialah Alia berhias berlebihan depan khalayak ramai dengan solekan yang berlebihan dan pakaian pengantin yang terlebih lawa. Kebanyakkan pakaian pengantin Muslimah tidak Muslimah pun, walaupun labelnya "Muslimah".

Alia: Lia setuju dengan Ali tu. Kalau setakat nak pakai sehari je, pastu simpan dalam almari and biar berdebu je Lia rasa macam membazir. Dah la bayar mahal. Kalau mahal tapi boleh dipakai everyday tu okay jugak.

Ummi: Ummi nak Lia nampak segak hari tu. Kenduri kahwin tu sekali je tau?

Dengan suara lembut, Alia menjawab...

Alia: Ummi, segak di mata siapa?

Suasana senyap seketika...



Cinta SMS (Ep. 5)



Alia merenung mesej yang dihantar oleh abangnya.

Ahmad: Ali terima. Alhamdulillah!

Ahmad: Oit budak kecik, termenung jauh nampak!

Alia: Uish, buat terkejut orang ja.

Ahmad: Haha, sorry. Tengah kira duit raya ka?

Alia: Raya dah lepas la. Lia dok tengok mesej yang abang hantar time pegi umah Ali hari tu.

Ahmad: Takkan angau kot?

Alia: Hai, tarik janggut kang! Mana boleh angau-angau. Lia tengah pikir pasal soal kahwin ni la.

Ahmad: Abang testing aja la.

Alia: Ummi ngan abi kat bilik ka?

Ahmad: Yup. Nak jumpa diorang skang?

Alia: Boleh gak. Abang teman bleh?

Ahmad: Hai, takkan cuak kot? Diorang bukan nak terkam pun.

Alia: Lia tau la. Ntah la, rasa cam kekok je. Jom ar!

Ahmad: Ye la, ye la.

Ahmad ketuk pintu bilik ummi dan abi.

Ahmad: Assalamualaikum.

Ummi: Waalaikumussalam warahmatullah. Masuk la.

Alia: Ummi ngan abi free ke skang?

Abi: Free je. Tengah tunggu Isyak masuk.

Alia: Nak bincang skit boleh?

Ummi: Boleh je. Tapi kalau nak bincang pun, masuk la dulu. Duduk sini ha. Yang tercengang kat pintu tu buat apa?

Alia: Hee...

Alia dan Ahmad masuk dan duduk dekat ngan ummi dan abi. Alia nampak nervous.

Alia: Fuh, Bismillah. Sebenarnya...

Ahmad: ALIA TAK SABAR NAK KAWEEEN!

Alia: Oi, potong stim la! Orang tengah feeling ni.

Ahmad: Sapa suruh ajak abang teman tadi. Haha!

Alia baling bantal kat Ahmad. Ummi dan abi senyum saja.

Alia: Ehem. Anyway, ummi abi tau kan yang minggu lepas Ali terima lamaran Alia. Tapi unfortunately, kita tak dapat nak bincang ngan lanjut sebab nak sambut hari raya hari tu. So, Alia nak pick up where we left off.

Abi: Hmm...Alia sure ke pasal Ali?

Alia: Well, Lia basically tahu in general yang Ali ni orang yang baik. Tambah plak, Lia dah interrogate dah si Ahmad ni nak tau background Ali since Ahmad ngan Ali ni best friends. And after that, Lia dah istikharah dan Alhamdulillah, Lia yakin ini keputusan yang betul. Tawakal kepada Allah.

Ummi: Study macam mana? Tak ganggu ka?

Alia: Lia slalu dengar la orang cakap kahwin time belajar ni mengganggu pelajaran. Ramai yang tak excel disebabkan perkahwinan. Tapi Lia rasa ini tak adil, sebab ramai jugak yang excel selepas berkahwin. Yang tu tak pulak disebut. Jadi, puncanya ialah diri sendiri yang tidak cukup bersedia, bukan perkahwinan. Pelajaran Lia skang stabil Ummi dan Insha Allah, tak akan terjejas disebabkan perkahwinan.

Ummi: Betul. Tapi, ada possibility untuk tangguh sampai graduasi?

Alia: Lia takut tak dapat nak jaga hati ja. Kalau situasi dah sesuai, kenapa tak segerakan saja kan?

Abi: Sure dah ready nak kahwin? Bukan senang tau.

Alia: What do you think? Am I ready to be a wife?

Abi berfikir sejenak.

Abi: I think you would be a great wife. Like your mother.

Ummi: Hek eleh...

Abi senyum.

Alia: Lia sedar kahwin ni bukan a piece of cake. Tak macam boyfriend/girlfriend. Mudah dan takda responsibility. Tapi, takda keredhaan dari Allah. Lia lebih sanggup hadapi cabaran dengan keredhaan Allah, dari enjoy kesenangan dalam kemurkaan-Nya.

Abi: Good answer.

Ummi: Kenapa Lia nak kahwin?

Alia: Di mana ada gula, di situ ada semut. Apa saja Allah suka, itu Alia rebut.

Ahmad: Pergh!

Alia: Lia jugak tengok ini satu peluang terbaik untuk dakwah. Ye la, kita dok cakap kapel tu haram...haram...haram tapi takde pulak kita sediakan alternatif. And bukan sekadar sebut-sebut saja alternatif ni, tapi kita tunjukkan contoh. Barulah masyuk! Moga-moga hati diorang pun terbuka jugak Insha Allah.

Abi pandang ummi. Ummi angguk.

Abi: Ahmad, tolong jemput Ali datang sini esok.

Ahmad: Okay, Ahmad akan ajak dia dan parents dia datang.

Abi: Nope, dia seorang saja.

Ahmad: Serius?


Cinta SMS (Ep. 4)



Henset Ali berbunyi, dia membaca SMS yang baru diterimanya.

Ahmad: On my way.

15 minit kemudian, pintu rumah Ali diketuk.

Ahmad: Assalamualaikum!

Ali: Waalaikumussalam warahmatullah! Masuk la.

Ahmad: Parents ko ade?

Ali: Diorang keluar beli makanan untuk berbuka.

Ahmad: Ko tak ikut?

Ali: Tak nak ar. Bulan Ramadhan ni aku kurangkan skit trip aku ke bazar Ramadhan sebab asal aku gi bazar je sah-sah akan beli lebih dari yang aku perlukan. So, aku just order kat parents aku je la.

Ahmad: Nice.

Ali menjemput Ahmad untuk duduk.

Ahmad: So what's happenin' bro? It's been three weeks. When are you going to make your move?

Ali: Sorry bro. Semenjak kebelakangan ni aku banyak berbincang ngan parents aku pasal kahwin ni. Parents aku, Alhamdulillah, diorang ada asas agama tapi kadang-kadang tu pengaruh budaya kuat gak la. So, aku kena banyak kali slow talk ngan diorang.

Ahmad: Oh, apa masalahnya?

Ali: Well, the usual stuff I guess. Mak aku nak ada sesi persandingan, nak kenduri besar-besar, nak beli baju mahal-mahal yang aku pakai pun skali ja, and macam-macam lagi. Ada certain things yang kononnya daripada budaya kita yang aku sendiri pun tak penah dengar.

Ahmad: Ayah ko camne?

Ali: Haha...dia tak nak buat hantaran. Mas kawen jek.

Ahmad: Kira OK dah la tu. Hantaran bukan requirement pun. Takkan tu je yang korang bincang?

Ali: Ada la bincang pasal Alia skit. Aku brief la kat diorang Alia ni camne, based on apa yang ko bagitau aku. Ko takde tipu aku kan?

Ahmad: Uish, ko makan ubat gegat ke ape time sahur tadi? Mana ada aku tipu. Dalam hal ni kena jujur la. Suma yang aku gtau ko tu betul, yang positif dan jugak yang negatif. Kalau aku tipu and ko find out time kawen nanti perkara sebenar, tak ke huru-hara tu.

Ali: Chill bro, chill. Aku saje je tanye.

Ahmad: Yang pasal kenduri tu, camne? Aku kurang selesa skit, especially bab persandingan tu. Aku tak nak la adik aku berhias-hias pastu kena display kat orang ramai camtu.

Ali: Okay. Aku remind diorang tujuan sebenar kenduri tu ape. Kita buat kenduri untuk warwar kat orang ramai yang si A kawen ngan si B. Bukan nak tunjuk kat orang betapa mewahnya kenduri kita tu. And then aku cakap kat diorang yang aku nak dapatkan redha Allah dalam setiap langkah aku menuju perkahwinan.

Ahmad: What do you mean?

Ali: Ye la, takkan la aku nak mulakan perkahwinan aku ngan kaki yang salah? Kalau permulaan aku tiada berkat, macam mana pulak dengan pengakhiran aku?

Ahmad: Masha Allah, betul cakap ko. Aku tak terpikir pulak dari sudut tu. Mesti susah kan nak convince parents ko?

Ali: Agak mencabar tapi Alhamdulillah, aku perasan hati diorang dah terbuka skit. Doa aku dimakbulkan. Aku bukannya tak nak masukkan langsung adat Melayu dalam kenduri aku, cuma kena filter la dulu apa adat yang boleh dan yang tak boleh dalam Islam.

Ahmad: So, skang ni camne?

Ali: Well, aku dah arrange untuk parents aku meet ngan sorang ustaz ni. Aku rasa diorang lebih selesa kot dengar daripada dia.

Ahmad: Aku harap semua berjalan lancar la ek.

Ali: Amin. Eh jap, yang ko tetiba mesej aku kata nak datang umah aku ni nape? Bukan ko ade kelas memandu ke?

Ahmad: Aku terpaksa postpone latihan aku hari ni, sebab aku ada hal urgent ngan ko. Nasib baik pelatih aku sporting.

Ali: Apsal ni?

Ahmad: Aku nak sampaikan pesanan. Alia nak melamar ko.

Ali: HA?!

Cinta SMS (Ep. 3) | Cinta SMS (Ep. 5) - 7 July 2017

Noob Husband (Year 4) - You Have Enough Time



This year will be my 4th year of being married to the woman I love.

As time progresses, more things emerge and become clearer. These are the things that I didn't think of during my single years. Although you try your very best to prepare for marriage, there are aspects of marriage which you can't prepare for.

Running away is not the solution. Marriage is a commitment that begins when you say, "I do". You have to face what comes your way with confidence and maturity. That is how you adapt and move on. That is how you grow.

Among the things that emerged and became clearer to me is how important time management is. Time management is one of those things you hear about when you were in university and you know it is important. But back then, it is not important in a big way, only in a way that will help you get good grades in the exam.

At least, that was how I see time management-lah. Not good. I know. I made a mistake of focusing too much on the teeny tiny part of life and overlooking what matters more.

Time management is essential not just as a student, but as a person. Looking at how time management affects you in your life as a person will give you a better appreciation of time management and of time, in general.

As we grow older and gain more responsibilities in life, we will see how important time management really is, and we will soon realize how foolish we were for thinking of it as a mere tool for performing well in academics.

Once you get marriage, you will see responsibilities start piling up one by one. Some of them might rush in all at once. At first, it might seem overwhelming. But give yourself a chance and adjust to the new.

For me, I see my time now in 6 parts:

  1. Alone time - between you and your soul.
  2. Romantic time - between you and your other half.
  3. Kids time - between you and your legacy.
  4. Parents time - between you and the individuals who raised you.
  5. Family time - between you and your social support.
  6. Community time - between you and your civic duties.

None of the 6 parts can be ignored; each one is important. The challenge is to find the balance in them all. Balance, doesn't necessarily mean equal time because although every part is important but not all are created equal.

Priority is key. You must learn what part of your time is more important, and in what context. For example, you can't concretely determine that romantic time is more important than community time. That might be true in a certain context, but in a different context, community time can be more important than romantic time.

Like juggling, you don't stay in one place while you juggle. When the circumstance requires it, you will move around so that the things you are juggling don't fall all over the place. This takes time, effort, and patience to learn.

The one who is writing this is still learning it too. But the main takeaway is to realize and to start. A good place to start is to let go of the old. You can't be married and have a single person's mindset at the same time. Time works differently now that you're married.

So, learn to let go of your single life. You're not living there anymore. You've moved on (hopefully) to a better stage of life. Yes, there were sweet times in being single. You will miss them. But life moves forward, not backward.

So, you should too.


Previous post: Noob Husband (Year 3) - When Two Becomes One

Cinta SMS (Ep. 3)



3 bulan telah berlalu.

Alia: Assalamualaikum!

Ahmad: Waalaikumussalam warahmatullah! Hai, lewat balik.

Alia: Lia stay after kelas tadi sebab nak tanya sheikh beberapa soalan. Ramai giler yang nak tanya, tu la pasal lambat tu.

Ahmad: Fuiyoo, excited benor korang belajar ek.

Alia: Mana tak excitednya, kelas tu pasal kahwin. Alhamdulillah, sheikh tadi ada buat sesi soal jawab untuk pompuan saja. Time kelas tu asyik lelaki je yang tanya.

Ahmad: Banyak Lia belajar?

Alia: Alhamdulillah. Lia rasa rugi sebab tak belajar awal-awal. Betapa indahnya perkahwinan ni kalau dibuat dengan cara yang betul. Kalau ikut sunnah betul-betul. Kalau Lia tahu awal-awal, takkan terlintas la nak ada boyfriend.

Ahmad: So kiranya dah ready nak kahwin la ni?

Alia: Well, semalam dah berbincang ngan Ummi and Abi. Diorang kata asalkan pelajaran tidak terjejas, no problem!

Ahmad: Ha, comey benor la tu.

Alia: OK la bang, Lia nak gi mandi. Letih jugak kelas-kelas camni.

Ahmad: Mana tak letihnya, pagi sampai petang. Sabtu dan Ahad pulak tu. Ummi dah sediakan makanan, dah siap mandi tu gi makan ek.

Alia: Okeh!

Henset Ahmad berbunyi. Kawannya menghantar SMS. Dalam mesej tertulis...

Ali: Alia dah ready?
Ahmad: Dah. Your move.


Cinta SMS (Ep. 2)



Ahmad: Lia, jom! Nak gerak dah ni.

Alia: Takda mood nak pegi jalan-jalan la. Kalau Lia dok umah je boleh?

Ahmad: Hai, takkan la nak tinggal Lia sorang-sorang kat umah kot. Abi nak satu family pegi kan. Jom la. Apsal murung-murung je ni?

Alia tunduk, mengusap-usap hensetnya. Ahmad dapat menangkap masalah adiknya ada kaitan dengan boyfrennya. Ahmad datang duduk tepi Alia.


Ahmad: Lia, what's wrong?

Alia: After abang cakap pasal dosa hari tu Lia jadi susah hati. Lia asyik dok pikir ja apa yang abang cakap tu. So Lia mesej la boyfren Lia tu.

Ahmad kurang senang bila mendengar perkataan "boyfren" tetapi dia sabar dan terus mendengar luahan adiknya.

Alia: Lia cakap kat dia yang apa yang sedang kami buat ni tak baik. Bukannya kami tak tahu pun pasal hukum halal haram ni. Tapi ntah la, mungkin hati kami ni cuba buat alasan yang "menghalalkan" hubungan ni.

Ahmad: Alasan yang macam mana tu?

Alia: Ye la, kami takde la pegang-pegang tangan ke or keluar dating berdua-duaan ke. Kalau spend time ngan dia pun, kami buat study group or keluar makan ngan kawan-kawan yang lain supaya tak berdua-duaan. But deep down dalam hati Lia, Lia mengaku yang itu suma excuses untuk bersama ngan dia. Deep down Lia tau ni suma bisikan syaitan yang cakap hubungan kami ni "halal".

Ahmad: Okay, itu dulu. Skang ni macam mana?

Alia: After abang cakap pasal dosa tu, hati Lia menjerit-jerit memujuk Lia untuk keluar dari hubungan ni dan cari hubungan yang betul-betul halal. After Lia mesej dia explaining suma kata-kata hati Lia ni, dia rasa tak senang hati pulak dengan Lia. Cakap Lia buang tebiat la and cakap Lia dah tak sayang dia la...

Mata Alia mula berlinangan dengan air mata.

Ahmad: Jadi, dia break up ngan Lia la ye?

Alia angguk sahaja.

Alia: Kenapa susah sangat nak cari lelaki yang baik abang? Lia suka sangat kat dia. Dia caring giler kat Lia. Dah la dulu skolah agama. Lia pun yakin la yang dia lelaki yang baik. Lia berniat untuk amik dia sebagai suami satu hari nanti.

Ahmad kesat air mata adiknya.

Ahmad: Lia nak kahwin dengan dia?

Alia angguk.

Ahmad: Lia pasti dia calon suami yang baik untuk Lia?

Alia angguk lagi.

Ahmad: Lelaki yang sama yang setuju untuk mengambil Lia sebagai girlfriend dia walaupun dia tahu hubungan itu tiada keberkatan daripada Allah?

Alia tidak mengangguk lagi. Dia memikirkan kata-kata abangnya.

Ahmad: [Gelak kecil] Ha, dah sedar ke belum?

Alia ketawa.

Ummi: Ahmad! Lia! Nak gerak dah ni!


Cinta SMS (Ep. 1)



Ahmad: Assalamualaikum, mana Ummi?

Alia: Waalaikumussalam warahmatullah. Ummi dah pegi keje dah. Abang gi mana tadi?

Ahmad: Beli nasi lemak untuk breakfast. Nah, amik sebungkus.

Alia: Letak la kat atas meja dulu. Nanti Lia makan.

Alia (adik Ahmad) sedang sibuk dengan hensetnya.

Ahmad: Amboi, kuat bermesej nampak! Bunyi cam anai-anai. Ko tengah chit chat ngan menteri besar ke tu?

Alia: Takde ah. Tengah SMS ngan kawan Lia la.

Ahmad: Kawan ke boyfriend? Aku kenal la ko Lia. Lain gayanye kalau ko tengah SMS ngan kawan.

Ahmad menjenguk henset Alia dan ternampak mesej "romantik" adiknya.

Alia: Ala abang ni, nyibuk je! Biar la orang nak SMS ngan sesape pun.

Ahmad: Ye la, masalahnya bila nak topup mintak duit kat abang jugak. Kalau camni la duit abang menghilang, tobat tak nak bagi dah.

Alia: Rilek la bro! Lia pakai Celcom 8pax la. 0.5 sen je satu mesej. Tak sampai satu sen pun.

Ahmad: Hmm...dah lain ek skang.

Alia: Apa yang lainnya?

Ahmad: Harga dosa dah makin murah pulak.

Alia: ...


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