Increase the Positive


Everybody has a positive side and a negative side. Which side do we choose to focus on?

We should choose to focus on the positive, despite knowing that the negative does exist.

That doesn’t mean that we ignore the negative. If we are in a position where we can make the situation better, then we should take appropriate action to correct the negative. Focus on the positive doesn’t mean that we justify their negative qualities or actions.

I’m talking about being positive, not being naive.

Focus on the positive means that despite being aware of the negative, we make a conscious choice to see the good side of a person. We consciously decide that we would not define the person by his or her negativity, and we don’t make the negative our wallpaper.

The person may or may not deserve our good thoughts. That is up for debate. But this is not about the person. This is about us. How we choose to see people affects how we feel. It is a factor in our emotional wellbeing. If we focus on the negative, then that is what we would see and that is what we would feel.

Focusing on the good of a person is a choice that we all can make. For some it is a difficult choice, for others it is an easy choice. But it is still a choice nonetheless.

What focusing on the good of a person means is that we don’t make the bad qualities of that person our wallpaper, such that when we see them, that is all that we see: the bad. We make the conscious decision to see them as they truly are; a human being just like us.

When I say, “I love you” to my parents, I say that with the knowledge of how imperfect they are. I love them, with their flaws and shortcomings, because that is the only way I can sincerely and realistically love another human being.

So I learn to live life with the cards that were dealt to me, not the cards that I wish were dealt to me. I learn to appreciate the parents God gave to me. God chose them to be my parents for a reason. Although I didn’t choose my parents, I can choose how to love them.

When you make that conscious choice to focus on the good in people and you try to make this a habit, it becomes easier and easier to love them. You have trained your mind to think good things and positive things. Next time, you don't even have to try that hard - it becomes a natural part of yourself.

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Speak Up! Project focuses on creating a strong foundation of inner confidence. We apply the confidence in practicing essential soft skills: English speaking, public speaking, and debating.

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Aiman Azlan

Aiman Azlan is a motivational speaker, a vlogger, and an author. With an aptitute for psychology, he likes to address topics related to emotional, mental, and spiritual well being. He has traveled all over Malaysia and beyond to speak to predominantly youth audience, speaking about various youth-related topics such as identity, love, family relationship, productivity, community, and self-worth. He now resides in Perlis with his wife and son.

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