Fear of making mistakes, fear of being laughed at, fear of rejection, fear of judgment, fear of not being good enough, or any other fears are all real and should be acknowledged, but many of them, if not all of them, are unreasonable.
One of the many possible reasons why those fears are unreasonable is because they stem from having a unrealistic expectations of themselves, of others, and/or of life in general.
They expect themselves to be perfect, which is impossible. This expectation leads us to be ungrateful for being good enough because their perfectionism form the thought that they will never be good enough.
They expect to be able to please others, which is highly unlikely. This expectation leads us to think that we can somehow control people's reactions to us and as a result, we always end up in the same spot - discontent.
They expect life to be easy, which is delusional. This expectation leads us to be heedless of the possibility of hardship and as a result, we don't prepare ourselves physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually to build a strong root that can withstand the storm.
So what to do? We need to manage our expectation well and we will save ourselves a lot of unnecessary heartaches. We need to periodically review the basics and our priority because we tend to gravitate towards the less important.
This is not to say that with the right expectation, suddenly everything will be candies and rainbows. Still, the right expectation helps us to focus on what matters more and on what matters most, and to ignore what is essentially a waste of time and energy.
To learn more about how to reorient our expectations, do join us for the SPEAK UP! English Speaking Seminar happening in July 2016.
We'll be in Pahang and Johor. All are invited!
Details can be found here.