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Showing posts from January, 2015

5 Things We Need to Know About Change

1. Change should be realistic.

Don’t put up this massive and idealistic goal. We need to control our zeal and set realistic expectations for ourselves. Otherwise, we are setting ourselves up for future disappointments.

Think of something more realistic, more doable and the risk of burning out is minimized. At the same time, we don’t want to have too small of a goal either.

Don’t be afraid to go bigger, but not too big that it becomes overwhelming.

2. Change should be gradual.

Things don’t usually change overnight. So we should take it one step at a time. Keep it slow and steady; don’t rush things. Move at a pace most comfortable to you; not too fast and not too slow.

The people around you shouldn’t push you to change as soon as possible. They should just be there for you to support you along the process. They should not be the obstacle that stops a person from moving forward or the reason people become demotivated.

If anyone has the intention to change, then we should support it. …

K-Pop Hugs and Kisses

It is not that difficult to cause a stir in the community. Just find something sensitive in the community and just start violating. Before you know it, things get viral almost overnight (thanks to smartphones and social media) along with the reactionary voices that usually accompany them.

The Recent K-Pop Incident

What happened recently in Malaysia with the K-Pop concert was indeed appalling. At first, I didn't even know about the issue. I was in Singapore and my days were busy with my talk and sightseeing with my dad.

It was my wife who texted me on Whatsapp and brought my attention to the issue. This was her text: "I felt like crying, seeing well-covered Muslim women giving up their dignity to strange men. To make matters worse, these images are getting viral."

I watched the video and couldn't finish it because it was too hurtful. I wished I didn't watch the video to be honest. It flooded my timeline and curiosity got the better of me. After watching the video, …

7 Questions About Self-confidence

On 22nd of December 2014, I did a talk in South Korea about self-confidence.

During the Q&A session, I answered a few questions from the audience but due to time constraints, I couldn't answer all the questions sent to me on pieces of paper. So I brought those pieces of paper home and I answered them via email.

Now, I want to share those questions and answers here. Hopefully, something I said will be beneficial to someone who reads it.

1. What is the difference between perception and impression? What matters more?

I think there is little to no difference between the two. How you perceive someone is the impression someone gives to you (intentional or not). What matters most is not be fake and not to do things just to get people’s affection and approval. Show good akhlaq not because you want people to like you, but because you believe that is the right thing to do and that is what Allah likes the most from you.

2. We live in a society where criticism is seen as motivation, and usu…

Sensitivity in Times of Crisis

It is heartwarming to see many Malaysians helping the people in need in times of crisis, more so in the recent flood disaster around the east coast region of the peninsula.

Regular people, young, old, men, women, and kids, join forces to lend a hand to others who are hoping for it. For a moment we forget our superficial differences and we unite on the basis of one common goal - our humanity.

But with all that positivity, there is bound to be negativity. False reports about flood victims are being shared all over the internet. People doubting other people's intentions when they are trying to help. Political stupidity making volunteer work difficult. All making the muddy flood waters even more muddy than it already is.

Though we don't know why people do such horrible things, we do know that they shouldn't do those things. Lack of sensitivity, especially when the situation calls for it, is an indication of lack of individual maturity.

Hiding behind a false username and tap…

Community: How Do I Erase My Past?

Assalamualaikum.

I recently decided to cover up properly as a Muslim woman. I repented from my past sin but it is not easy to escape from the past. I made the mistake of posting pictures of myself online where I didn't cover my aurah properly. I feel ashamed thinking of how many eyes are looking at those pictures. 

I deleted all the pictures I have, but if I Google my name, there are still pictures of me out there. There are still pictures of me from a few years back.

On top of that, my friends are not helping me with my change. They ridiculed me and they keep talking about my old pictures. I fear people might think that I am a hypocrite. I fear that people who know me now will think badly of me when they discover my past.

What should I do?

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Waalaikumussalam warahmatullah.

Thank you for your email and thank you for your willingness to share with me your story.

It is good to know that you are on the road to change for the better. That is great news! May Allah keep you steadf…